I’m thrilled that you’ve found the man of your dreams. And I know how important your wedding is to you. (more…)

I’ve always loved cartoons. To me, a cartoonist captures in a drawing and a few words (more…)

I went to a going away party for Ellen, a friend who is relocating job and home across the country (more…)

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Listen, it’s her wedding. She’s been waiting for this day for 25 years, (more…)

It’s not what couples argue about. It’s about how they argue. (more…)

Your wedding day is in six weeks. You’ve tried to talk about money with your fiancée for the last few months and he continues to find a way to shut down the conversation. (more…)

If you’re a mom, think back to what your children taught you at different stages in your life. Here are a few things mine taught me. (more…)

The good news – if monkeys can do it, we can do it.

The bad news – they’re still working on getting it right. (more…)

If you can talk about money before you marry, and build financial intimacy into your relationship from the beginning, (more…)

It may be a little early for the final countdown on the bride’s to do list.

But I’m hoping that if one of the millions of May and June brides reads this in time, (more…)

Sometimes you can’t help overhearing a conversation.

Five women sat at a table at Starbucks, surrounded by their collective brood of six children. (more…)

How do we fight about taxes? Let me count the ways. (more…)

Yesterday, a woman from Michigan was killed by a stingray that leaped out of the water and struck her as she sunbathed on the deck of a boat in Florida. Stingrays practically never do that. (more…)

Lyrics by Tammy Wynette/Billy Sherrill

Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You’ll have bad times
And he’ll have good times
Doing things that you don’t understand (more…)

Has anyone checked out the obituaries lately? Have you noticed how many people are dying young? (more…)

If we had to take a test before we could marry, how many of us would pass? (more…)

On September 3, 2007, Steve Fossett set off for a short flight over the Nevada desert and never returned . (more…)

You may have suspected it. The SRRS confirms it.
Stress correlates directly and measurably with the chance of getting sick. (more…)

According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion Valentine cards are sent each year; 85 percent of them are purchased by women. (more…)

Think of the dirty words you were never supposed to say while you were growing up. No matter how many you come up with, I’ll bet the word age wasn’t among them. It is now. (more…)

Some superstitions are harmless, like knocking on wood, carrying a rabbit’s foot or hoping that,if you get on a plane with your right foot, the plane won’t crash. I do this last one myself. (more…)

I get emails from people who have read my book. Here’s one from Nancy:

I’m going to be married in two months. It’s a second marriage for both of us. I really love him, but I’m worried about this unwillingness to talk about money with me. (more…)

I once attended a workshop about money. One of the exercises our group of 50 had to do was chew a brand new $100 bill. Most of us gagged. (more…)

Men, whether successful or not, don’t seem to worry about becoming destitute in their old age, invisible, unloved, roaming the streets, scrounging in garbage cans for food. (more…)

When I was younger, I made New Year resolutions only to have them evaporate after a few weeks. (more…)

John Lennon sang “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” He wrote the words for ‘Beautiful Boy’, a song he dedicated to his son Sean. (more…)

“We’re going to the mall. See you later.”

What could be more ordinary, more a part of everyday life, than going to the mall, (more…)

Life imitates art - again.

In Anna Quindlen’s gripping novel “Black and Blue”, a wife tries to escape from her abusive husband who is a policeman. She lives in terror that he will locate her using the same methods he uses to pursue criminals. (more…)

We’ve been told the rich are different, but when it comes to marital behavior, there’s an uncanny resemblance to the rest of us. (more…)

My husband went out for a waterski with my daughters and died suddenly while crossing the wake. We are both in our early 50’s. (more…)

Who is Robert Johnson and why should you pay attention to him? (more…)

You might marry more than once, but future nuptials won’t be in the same league as this first one.

Clothed in fairy-tale lace, luminous, surrounded by flowers, family, friends, (more…)

When Leslie and Don met and fell in love, she had a great sales job with an international start-up. She loved the travel, the pace and challenge of contributing to the growth of the company. (more…)

You’re in love. He’s perfect. Likes the same things you do. You have fun together. You can stay up all night talking. The chemistry is incredible. Finally, a man who shares your values (more…)

Forget the wedding details. Forget the craziness of planning, the obsession with perfection, the financial obligation. That’s the hard part of getting married. (more…)

It started three years ago when Inge told her husband she planned a face lift and he told her they couldn’t afford it. She thought they could; she asked Harry to show her the books. (more…)

I’ve often wondered why couples feel the need to announce their wedding in the New York Times. The people who care are at the wedding or wish they had been invited. (more…)

Do you know anyone who would admit to marrying for money? If they admitted to it, would you think less of them, even though they were giving you an honest answer? (more…)

A few blogs ago, I wrote that grooms don’t obsess about weddings. That’s what brides and their mothers do. The groom plays along so he can get through it and move on to the honeymoon. (more…)

A few years ago, I dated a man who seemed well matched for me except for one supremely annoying habit – he talked with his mouth full of food. How petty of me I thought. Such a great guy, how could such a silly thing bother me? (more…)

Leona Helmsley, dubbed “Queen of Mean” by the media, died last week. In her will, the hotel magnate left $12 million for the care of her dog,Trouble, who will be buried near her in her mausoleum. She left nothing to two of her four grandchildren, citing “the reasons which are known to them”. (more…)

Typically, I like my quiet time on a plane. But I couldn’t resist engaging with the passenger next to me last month. Ellen was getting away for a few days after calling off her wedding. (more…)

My friend Karen looked shell shocked. Her jade green eyes had dark circles under them. Her hands shook as she drank her coffee.

Bob had told her he was leaving. Said he didn’t love her anymore, hadn’t loved her for years. He’d met another woman he believed could make him happy. “The kids are grown. I’m not willing to carry on the charade anymore.” (more…)

We take life on the local road for granted. The oncoming car will stay in its lane. The driver behind us won’t ride our rear fender. The grazing deer won’t run out on the road . The driver in the weaving car can handle his tire blowout. The bridge will hold and get us across the river. (more…)

A thoughtful story by Alison Lobron ( www.boston.com/news/globe/magazine/ articles/2007/07/15 )explores the emphasis on emotional togetherness in marriage and the willingness to divorce if a couple doesn’t achieve it within a certain time frame. (more…)

It’s not just first time brides who have trouble talking about money. Women who remarry have many of the same money hang-ups, especially if money was a touchy subject the first time around.

It’s counterintuitive to think about widowhood or divorce when you’re getting married. Few women do. (more…)

Because this is the busiest time of the year for weddings, here’s a reality check…

There’s nothing inherently natural about marriage. It doesn’t obey any laws of physics or cosmic order. Nor is it divinely ordained, or biologically inevitable. (more…)

Is discussing money a hot button subject at your house?

Is your husband involved in deals you don’t understand?

Even worse, does he withhold financial information?

If you’re resentful or angry about the lack of financial intimacy between you, you’re probably angry about a lot of other things … your sex life, for example. (more…)

I received this email a few days ago. My heart goes out to this young widow whose world has just collapsed around her.

I am a young widow coping with grief, trying to understand finances, and raise 3 young children alone. I do not really understand and frankly have a lot of fear around the whole area of my finances. (more…)

Gail and I hadn’t seen each other since college. We caught up over lunch. I was horrifed at what she told me.

“My first husband and I were divorced ten years ago. Two years later, I met Eddie.We dated a few months and then married. Eddie earned more than I did. He offered to take care of our finances. He suggested I use his financial advisor and put the divorce settlement I received into the investments his advisor recommended. (more…)

Gail and I hadn’t seen each other since college. We caught up over lunch. I was horrifed at what she told me.

“My first husband and I were divorced ten years ago. Two years later, I met Eddie.We dated a few months and then married. Eddie earned more than I did. He offered to take care of our finances. He suggested I use his financial advisor and put the divorce settlement I received into the investments his advisor recommended. (more…)

I have been called cynical, a spoil sport who doesn’t believe in romance. Someone who wants to take the romance out of weddings.

It’s not true. I like romance as much as you do, but I want something more important. I want to strengthen financial intimacy in marriage, starting with a eyes wide open approach to what the wedding will really cost. (more…)

Men don’t read Harlequin romance novels. They don’t pore over magazines a year in advance of their wedding. In fact, there’s no Modern Groom magazine for them.

Men ‘do’ romance because it makes us – a girlfriend, a fiancée, a wife – happier. It fulfills our need, not his. He uses romance to set the stage and move him closer to what he really wants – sex, affection, closeness and intimacy. (more…)

Actually, no one can. Yet this is one of the biggest myths surrounding romance and marriage . “If he really loves me, he knows what I want.” How can your husband or boyfriend know that? (more…)

Men are great at focusing on a single task and coming up with a solution. They get over anger more quickly than women do. They don’t like to discuss ‘the relationship’. Unlike women, who enjoy setting things in context, men prefer to get to the point right away. (more…)

Few women who marry plan on being widowed or divorced. Yet even modern women too often cede control of finances to their husband. This leaves them uninformed and unprepared to manage on their own in case their marriage ends. (more…)

Few women who marry plan on being widowed or divorced. Yet even modern women too often cede control of finances to their husband. This leaves them uninformed and unprepared to manage on their own in case their marriage ends. (more…)

After the morning break in one of my seminars, I noticed that Stephanie, a pretty brunette in her late twenties, had not returned. She had come with her mother, Rosalie, who had paid for Stephanie’s registration. Rosalie wanted her daughter, who was to be married in a few months, to learn before marriage what Rosalie had learned the hard way after a bitter divorce. (more…)

I was nineteen and she was five. Five days old. Six pounds of human potential for whom I was now officially mommy. The baby fit snugly between my fingertips and elbow . I gazed down at her tiny face peeking through the pale pink blanket. Love and fear flooded over me. I knew little about life, less about babies. (more…)

I was nineteen and she was five. Five days old. Six pounds of human potential for whom I was now officially mommy. The baby fit snugly between my fingertips and elbow . I gazed down at her tiny face peeking through the pale pink blanket. Love and fear flooded over me. I knew little about life, less about babies. (more…)

If someone told you that you’d lose nearly $30,000 in four years, would you consider that a good investment?

Consider this: According to 2005 U.S. Census Bureau and the National Center for Health Statistics, 1.2 million women annually become first time brides at an average age of 25.3 years old.

The $50 billion wedding industry reports that the average wedding costs $27, 850, with the number of wedding guests averaging 165 people. One third of those weddings are paid for by the bride’s parents! We don’t have figures on how many parents take out loans or tap into their retirement savings to pay for the wedding.

(more…)

Many solo women, my daughters included, would rather die than be seen in public alone on Saturday night. I didn’t know that in those early months of being widowed. I just knew that I was desperate for some sushi and a movie. Just being able to summon the energy to head out felt like progress to me after months of grieving and social shutdown. Before I could change my mind and tell myself it didn’t matter, I drove to downtown Palo Alto to the sushi restaurant across from the movie. (more…)

Remember your shock the first time you looked at your face in a magnifying mirror? Your flawless complexion, magnified several levels, showed everything you’d never see by looking into an ordinary mirror.

That’s what happens when you learn what the numbers mean on your income tax return. You get a much closer look at what is going on financially in your marriage.

Every year on April 15, my husband would race into the house at
9:00 pm with the tax return he’d just picked up from his accountant. (more…)

Remember your shock the first time you looked at your face in a magnifying mirror? Your flawless complexion, magnified several levels, showed everything you’d never see by looking into an ordinary mirror.

That’s what happens when you learn what the numbers mean on your income tax return. You get a much closer look at what is going on financially in your marriage.

Every year on April 15, my husband would race into the house at
9:00 pm with the tax return he’d just picked up from his accountant. (more…)

In the ‘70s, Gloria Steinem coined a one word phrase “Click!” that was shorthand for “Oh! Enough said. I’ve got it. Point taken.” “Click” included all those phrases in one word.

I’m feeling a lot of Clicks in the last few weeks with the release of Suze Orman’s new book “Women and Money” and the interviews she’s been giving on television and in print.

Suze Orman is one of the best writers about financial information. Her writing is clear and conversational. The information is accurate and easy to understand. In fact, I recommend her books to women who take my seminars. I’ve even included her books as part of the suggested reading list in “Don’t Worry about a Thing, Dear “- Why Women Need Financial Intimacy.

But there’s always been something missing, and until the last few weeks, I couldn’t figure it out. Until CLICK! (more…)

I met a woman recently who told me that, when her daughter Lisa was born 30 years ago, she and her husband bought a house for her in Palo Alto. It seems her own mother had done the same thing for her and she was continuing a family tradition.

Over the years, the value of the house increased as the mortgage decreased. In the last 30 years, the $35,000 investment grew to over a million dollars. The house had paid for family vacations and even financed her daughter’s college education.

That’s not so easy to do in today’s real estate market. But that isn’t keeping millions of women from buying their own home – a twist on the Hope Chest of yesterday. (more…)

During a radio interview just before Christmas last year, the host asked me why I didn’t think it was a good idea to get engaged at Christmas. “Christmas is for exchanging gifts” I said. “An engagement ring isn’t a gift. It’s a precursor to a contract, a marriage contract.” Not exactly the same category as a new ski jacket ,cashmere sweater or alligator purse.

“Are you trying to take the romance out of marriage?” he asked combatively. I tried to reassure him that I’m a big fan of romance in context, but I didn’t think making a decision to marry should be based on romance. -->